Advice: Last News

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He started dating his gamer-bro best friend. Now there’s just one problem…

an advice-seeker who contacted Slate started dating his long-term best friend. “We’re a perfect match and stupidly attracted to each other,” he wrote, “but our sex life has been floundering recently.”The problem seems to be that the two are so used to hanging out platonically, that they both feel a little uncomfortable and clueless about how to relate sexually.The two are so used to playing video and tabletop games together that when they had an evening in with no plans, the boyfriend suggested they play the card game Uno.
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I saw my friend’s dad in the shower and now I can’t stop thinking about him
Hi Jake,I spent Thanksgiving break with my friend’s family in Florida. During the trip, we spent a lot of time by the pool at the country club his family belongs to. The trip was super nice and way better than if I had stayed back at my dorm that week. But a weird thing happened…After swimming one day, we went into the locker room to shower and get dressed before dinner with his family. It was here that I happened to glance over at the wrong (or maybe right?) moment and see my friend’s dad stepping out of the shower completely naked.Now, I never would have probably thought twice about his dad. Not only is he my friend’s DAD, but he’s also straight (I assume) and probably 30 years older than me. But seeing him naked, largely endowed, and in a locker room setting, I suddenly can’t get him out of my head. The glistening wet skin, athletic body, broad chest, and salt and pepper hair have sent my locker room fantasies into overdrive. I now see him in a completely different light, and even find myself nervous around him. I feel a tremendous sense of guilt that I’m turned on by my friend’s dad because it just feels awkward and wrong. I’m supposed to go on a ski trip with his family after the new year. I really want to join them but I don’t know if I should tell my friend about my attraction or try to completely repress these feelings. What should I do?Zaddy LoverZaddy Lover,Lusting after a friend’s parent is a tale as old as time (remember the iconic Jennifer Coolidge as Stiffler’s mom?).
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Seven things more important than how you like your partner
A therapist with a huge online following has seen one of his videos go viral this week.Jeff Guenther is based in Portland, Oregon. Besides running a successful private practice, he’s been posting snappy, one-minute videos offering guidance on everything from managing anxiety to why some people cheat on those they love.Related: Older gay gentlemen offer 15 life lessons to their younger gay counterpartsHis thoughts on ‘7 things that are more important than how you like your partner’ has notched up over 4.5million views since it appeared a few days ago.Guenther says “’I love that you like your babe and I bet they like you to but mutual like, or love, will only get you so far.” You also need to pay attention to these other factors.1.  How do they treat you? Nice, supportive and caring, or mean, bullying and dismissive?2. Do you feel safe and secure enough to be your authentic self with them? Or are you hiding parts of yourself?3. Are your hopes and dreams and future goals being supported?4. Do you feel like your emotional needs are being met? Do you feel seen, understood and supported, or are you holding things back because they don’t know how to show up for you?5. Are you able to say ‘no’ and create boundaries without being made to feel guilty or selfish?6. Are you ever forced or coerced to do something you’re not consenting to?7. After an argument, are you able to repair, reconnect and resolve? Or are you left feeling emotionally battered and exhausted?The list seems to have struck a chord with many people.“I wish I knew this before I got married.
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Chatting with a headless torso gave me quite a shock. What’s a boy to do?
Hi Jake,I’m a proud member of the headless torso club. I value my privacy and don’t share face pics unless I really feel like a hookup might happen. Recently I connected with another member of the headless torso club. He has an incredible body–toned arms, great butt, with just the right amount of hair on his chest, and he’s the perfect, um, “size.” We’ve been chatting for about a month. The other day he finally asked about trading face pics. I told him I would if he shared one first. So, he did. And that’s when I found it… it was my co-worker’s husband.I’ve seen him a few times at different social functions–mostly at company holiday parties and once at a birthday dinner for a mutual friend. He’s a super nice guy in person, but he’s never mentioned being in a relationship online, and his profile says he’s single. So that’s weird. Also, my co-worker has never said anything about being in an open relationship, although that’s not exactly water cooler conversation.So now I’m conflicted. I never sent him my face pic in response, so he has no idea it’s me. I could just ghost him. But he’s SUPER hot and the chatting has been fun. I would definitely like to hook up with him, but I don’t want to do something stupid that could lead to an awkward work situation, especially if my co-worker doesn’t know he’s being cheated on. It’s a lot to process. What should I do?Sincerely,Hot Headless TorsoDear Hot Headless Torso,As the animatronic children scream over and over in one of Disneyland’s oldest rides, “It’s a small world after all.” And boy is that true! Especially in the gay world, where friends have hooked up with friends, you could run into your boss on the dance floor at a club, or an anonymous chest can suddenly turn into your
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