There I was, naked in bed, drunk not only from alcohol, but shame as well. “Please Josh. I need this,” my boyfriend, who I’d been dating for two months, whispered–scratch that–pleaded, next to me. “If you can’t do this, then we’re going to need to talk.”“I–I’m sorry” was all I could muster.There I was, having just tried to top my boyfriend for the first time and as you can guess, utterly failed.
I wish I could say it was the alcohol. Or maybe my Cerebral Palsy was to blame? Either way, I just couldn’t do it. It’s not that I didn’t want to.
I remember when we first met on Grindr, I’d mentioned to him (whose profile said he was versatile) that I’d never topped before but had always been curious about it.