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How To Know If Your Lesbian Crush Likes You Back

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As a queer woman, chances are you find it hard to know if someone is into you. Growing up in a heteronormative society, WLW are conditioned to not make the first move, and urged to be cautious about coming on too strongly. 

A solution to this problem has been Lesbian chat apps and websites by creating a context where romantic or friendship connections are expected. But what about people you interact with IRL? 

Save yourself time, effort, and heartbreak and continue reading on.

Hints that someone may be into you

Developing a crush on someone you already know can be daunting because it changes the dynamic of an otherwise-familiar relationship. If your crush is a close friend, it’s probably wise to look out for clues that you might be on the same page before confessing your feelings for them.

On the flip side, If it’s someone you don’t have much of a connection to, e.g. an Instagram “acquaintance”, there’s really no harm in trying your luck. What’s the worst that can happen?

So now we’ve established that, let’s go over potential hints that your crush might feel the same way. Has their behavior towards you changed in any way at all? Are they paying more attention to you, on or offline? Are they more awkward/smiley/giddy around you than usual? Have other romantic interests come up in any conversations lately?

Lastly, think about how your feelings are manifesting. Is your crush acting similarly? You may not have an answer to these questions now, but do keep them in mind for future interactions.

How to shoot your shot

First, establish what type of crush it is. Is it a passing crush, or could it be the start of something?

If it’s the latter, what do you want to happen? Are you looking for a monogamous relationship or a summer fling? And are you open to other options, should the other person have different ideas than you?

If you haven’t quite figured out your intentions yet, take some time to think about it before making a move. When you’re ready to shoot your shot:

  1. Start by dropping hints. A 🔥🔥🔥 story react can go a long way. Or when you’re spending time together, work in a subtle cheeky remark here and there.
  2. Make your feelings known in a clear and concise way. It could be a text, a card you hand them on Valentine’s Day, or a face-to-face conversation. Keep it short and sweet: 

“I think you’re cool, would you like to go on a date next week?” or “Our friendship means a lot to me. I wouldn’t want anything to affect that, but I feel like I want something more.”. 

Dealing with rejection

Even if you’re God’s gift to queer women, you’ll have to face rejection at some point in your life. Prepare for the instance that your crush doesn’t reciprocate your feelings. If that happens, you must respect how they feel and move on. It’s never a pleasant feeling, but it will pass.

The goal is to not take it personally because, honestly, it has more to do with the other person than it does with you. Of course, that’s easier said than done.

People often tend to look for reasons as to why they’ve been rejected and internalize them. This is completely wrong. Just because you don’t fit one person’s taste, it doesn’t mean you’re not tasty. As cheesy as it sounds, it’s true! Ask a group of lesbians if they would date Katherine Moennig; chances are you will get wildly different answers.

Do not try to justify rejection because you will end up fixating on inaccurate assumptions made without possibly knowing what the other person is thinking or feeling.

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