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How Mary Lambert and Dr. Wyatt Hermansen Found Perfect Harmony Together

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Shame Is an Ocean I Swim Across, her second collection of poetry, in 2018, and her second album, Grief Creature, in 2019. And she hosts a popular podcast with Hermansen called The Manic Episodes, which led directly to the moment when Hermansen popped the question during the duo’s first joint live recording.The proposal came as a surprise to Lambert.

But it was a long time coming for Hermansen, who is nonbinary. “I’ve known forever that I was going to propose to Mary,” they say.

Lambert and Hermansen were performing at the University of Arkansas Center for Multicultural and Diversity Education. They’d been invited there by the center’s director, who’d listened to the show — on which they speak candidly on a variety of personal subjects ranging from mental health (both have been diagnosed with bipolar disorder), gender identity, self-love, fat activism, sobriety, and, of course, their love story.Hermansen realized that the performance was the perfect opportunity for them to pop the question. “If I know anything about Mary, it’s that — and I mean this in only the best way — she loves a spectacle.”The couple planned to close the show with two duets, but before the second one began, Hermansen took their moment.

They recall Lambert’s reaction when they deviated from the agenda. “I was like, ‘Can you come over here?’ and she got a look of absolute panic because I was going off script,” they say, laughing.Lambert says her first thought when Hermansen stood up was that they were battling stage fright.

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