Experts share unexpected emotional issues of reproductive donation – and advice for same-sex parents
egg donation and surrogacy route.Either way, parenthood can be an exciting and nerve-wracking rollercoaster. But, a few unexpected emotional issues could crop up along the way – particularly for the non-biological parent.‘The world of parenthood being set up in a heteronormative way can cause other issues,’ explains Navit Schechter, a CBT therapist and founder of Conscious & Calm.‘There can be a lack of support and understanding of your experience in mainstream “mum groups”, but the “dad groups” don’t reflect your experience too. ‘Without examples of what other parents do, what this role can look like or could be and how you can bond if you’re not feeding, it can perpetuate feelings of disconnection from the whole process – making the transition to parenthood and attachment with your baby harder.’As a result, experts have shared some of the unexpected issues new LGBTQ+ parents might encounter – plus how they can tackle them.‘With same-sex couples who choose sperm or egg donation, the issue of lack of bonding for the non-biological parent seems to appear often,’ explains psychotherapist Caron Barruw.‘It’s often unexpected and difficult when this issue occurs.’But, thankfully, there are a number of things that can help.What do experts suggest?Navit says it’s understandable that a non-biological parent could be concerned that their child might form a stronger bond with their birth parent – particularly with mothers.
She adds: ‘Being aware of your thoughts and feelings around this, speaking to your partner, friends and family about how you’re feeling and seeking help if your concerns are getting in the way of your day-to-day life (and being able to enjoy your baby) may all help you to navigate this time.’Navit stresses there.
